About Therapy
“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”
–Confucius
Walking into a therapist’s office for the first time…
It can be relieving…
The feeling of being understood, as if the chaos in your mind actually makes sense to someone, is one we all strive for. When you come in for therapy, it can feel like the weight of your thoughts and feelings lift away as you talk.
Having a place to leave the weight of your day or your life is what therapy is all about. A place to sort through the mess in your mind, the pain of the past, and the uncertainty of the future.
When you come in for therapy, know that you aren’t expected to have it all figured out; otherwise, you wouldn’t be here. I’m here to help you sort through it all.
It can also be scary…
What questions will I be asked?
There may be things you’ve never shared with anyone before, things that you haven’t been able to talk about.
You also may not be a person who is comfortable letting someone else in too quickly, so it’s unnerving to think of divulging your thoughts and feelings.
That’s okay. You’re in control of what information gets shared and when. If you’re uncomfortable answering a question, we’ll come back to it when you’re ready.
Is she diagnosing me?
Many clients come in feeling like there is something “wrong” with them, that they’re “crazy,” or that they can’t seem to figure out how to live life as easily as everyone else can. This doesn’t mean you fit a diagnosis.
Sometimes, a diagnosis can be a relief as it helps you better understand your symptoms and puts a name to things you experience. Diagnoses also help guide therapy and help me better select interventions.
Not all clients receive a diagnosis and don’t have to have one to take part in therapy.
If I believe you meet the criteria, I’ll share that with you, and we can discuss what that means. I’m looking forward to getting to know you beyond your symptoms, though, so no, I’m not just diagnosing you.
I have so much to say… how do I even know where to start?
You might come in with so much to say because you’ve reached the point of no longer being able to contain everything. Or you might come in and not be sure what to say or where to begin.
Wherever you are is okay. I’ll do the heavy lifting and sort out whatever you bring to the table, and together, we can develop a plan with specific goals.
Let’s put your mind at ease.
You and your comfort level guide the initial sessions. If there are aspects of your life you don’t yet feel comfortable sharing, that is perfectly fine.
If you’ve never been to therapy before, it can be daunting walking into the room (or meeting online) for the first time. I aim to help you feel comfortable. Think of it as a conversation. You’re welcome to bring in coffee or eat lunch while we talk. This is your time, so do whatever makes you feel most comfortable to open up.
I will do the thinking and connecting as we chat and may even have on my favorite hoodie or some tea in my favorite mug. I hate the feeling of a stuffy office or sitting across from someone who seems to be interviewing me rather than helping me. For that reason, I won’t just sit in the corner and write down mysterious things on my pad.
I maintain a dialogue going back and forth; I’ll ask questions to prompt thinking and challenge perspectives that may keep you stuck. I’ll provide insights and help you make connections and elicit changes in behaviors. I’ll recommend skills to try and help you explore what’s prohibiting you from building the life of your dreams.
All of this while throwing a few jokes in there, having some laughs, wiping away tears, and getting you closer to your goals.
Relationships develop over time as trust and safety grow.
And the therapeutic relationship is no different.
The weight of responsibility on me as a therapist and the vulnerability that my clients bravely bring into every session never escape me. I take my role very seriously and always act in the best interest of you, the client.
As we start working together, you’ll find that you’re free to share anything and will never be judged or told what’s “right” or what’s “wrong.” You’ll never be forced into any particular direction and will never be told what to do.
In therapy with me, you’ll find an advocate in your corner for the rest of your life. I’m here to help push you toward your goals for life and will celebrate wins with you and ease the pain of some of the losses along the way.
You’ll gain skills to formulate and verbalize opinions, assert yourself, get your needs met, speak honestly and authentically, and make decisions mindfully and confidently. Any skills mastered in session will be encouraged outside of therapy as well.
If you can get comfortable with a stranger one hour per week, just imagine the relationships you can have everywhere else in your life.
I come into sessions ready TO WORK.
It takes courage to move those mountains standing between you and the life of your dreams, and I’m honored to roll up my sleeves and start climbing with you.
So, I won’t be just nodding my head, listening as you struggle to make sense of your world. I’m attentive in sessions and ready to change course or stand up and try an exercise if we find ourselves stuck.
Once you’ve been able to increase your confidence level, gain clarity about what’s plaguing you and how you want to resolve it, I’ll gradually shift responsibility onto you to take charge of your sessions and, ultimately, your future.
You’ll often find me in a flannel… with my Converse shoes on and my hair pulled back. My laid-back look provides me the comfort I need to do active therapeutic work with you, and I encourage you to bring the same level of energy and comfort to the table.
I, too, have faced mountains and know what it takes to dive in and create the life of your dreams.
About Me
Have you ever wondered how people can grow up in the same house…
…but be totally different??
I did because my sister and I felt like such opposites! This prompted me to go into psychology and explore what made everyone so different!
From AP Psychology in high school to studying psychology and criminology at Florida State University, my fascination with the human mind just grew. I was interested in what makes people tick, what makes people commit crimes even, but I quickly realized I didn’t want to spend my life around prisons or jails. I wanted to spend my life helping people make the most of their lives and letting go of what was getting in the way.
I see people as products of their environment and experiences.
We all get molded by the things we go through, the messages we receive from parents, and society’s opinions. Each person, though, is inherently different and experiences life uniquely.
I was skiing one time and met some really nice guys on a chairlift, and they asked what I did for a living. From there, they wondered if I ever got bored hearing the same stories over and over. I said, “No, because even if the people live through the same circumstances, they experience them internally in different ways. And experiences manifest differently in every person, so it never is the same thing twice.”
I honor the individuality of every person and have learned to honor my individuality.
This may be why I don’t dress in fancy suits or look like I’m going to a board meeting when I meet with my clients. My individuality as a therapist has to come through to permit clients to be themselves. I embrace my quirkiness, humor, and casual approach; and I confidently know that this doesn’t impede my strengths and intelligence as a counselor.
I aim to help clients become their own therapists, so they can navigate their life confidently and autonomously. I have been on the other side of the couch and have worked hard to create my ideal life. I’ve had to undo faulty messaging and wiring in my mind to become the person capable of living my best life.
Once I knew it was possible to change the course of my life completely and do whatever I wanted to make myself happy, I knew I had to share this with people. I am a giving person and genuinely want my clients to experience joy, love, happiness, connection, and purpose.
Now, I live my life worth living.
I am outdoors whenever possible, enjoying nature and doing what makes me happy. I have the most incredible wife, and we have our pup Finn and our cat Charley to keep us company. Traveling, skiing, hiking, visiting with family and friends – spending my time how I please without trying to fit a mold or please others all the time. That is what I strived for and what I encourage all my clients to pursue.
I knew I was always destined to live in the mountains, so I completed my graduate training in a CACREP program, the most rigorous of the counseling programs, but it is the easiest to transfer. I also trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and used the same skills I teach my clients every day. I was always working toward the life I want to better guide you toward the life YOU want!
The joy in life is living it… not just tolerating it.
You do not have to surrender to a half-assed relationship or just surviving your life.
You don’t have to hide who you are to have friends or choose the path that gets you the most approval from others.
You don’t have to keep trying to convince yourself everything is fine or agree to settle for things you don’t really want.
You don’t have to sacrifice the life of your dreams simply because you don’t know how to get there.
Whatever the life YOU want, it’s worth putting in the work to get there!
Give me a call today, and let’s schedule your free consultation: (561) 578-3058.