LGBTQ+ Issues
“You don’t have to live a lie. Living a lie will mess you up. It will send you into depression. It will warp your values.”
–Gilbert Baker, creator of the Pride flag
Even if you don’t face discrimination daily…
It’s probably in the back of your mind. You know there are people out there who work against you, your family, your rights, and your love. Sadly, it has been in the spotlight a lot since 2016.
Even within the LGBTQ+ community, there can be discrimination. Whether it’s being judged or held to a standard of “gayness,” body image issues, or authentically expressing who you are and how you feel on the inside.
It’s amazing how lonely this can feel, even in a crowded room. It can breed shame, inadequacy, and worthlessness.
Being different doesn’t make you weird or wrong. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to face your struggles alone.
As an LGBTQ+-affirmative therapist and LGBTQ+ person, I’m here to help you be your authentic self and build a life worth living… no matter where you are on your journey.
The struggles are real for our community…
Feeling “othered,” marginalized, different, or outcast…
Questioning or experiencing shame around your sexuality or gender identity
Navigating relationships
Needing help and support to come out to others
Creating a life that represents who you are
Internalizing homophobia
Having difficulty accepting the LGBTQ+ community
Coping negatively through substance abuse, self-harm, or promiscuity
Experiencing depression, anxiety, panic attacks, or fears related to your sexuality
Trauma or abuse because of your sexuality
Living around homophobia, biphobia, or transphobia
Parenting LGBTQ+ children
Being tolerated rather than accepted by others
And there are those things your heterosexual counterparts don’t have to face…
Comparing yourself to your partner…
We can’t help it – we compare. Men and women rarely compare themselves to each other as it’s more apples to oranges, but men and men and women and women often compare themselves.
In same-sex relationships, it’s hard to not judge your body, gayness, and personality against your partner’s. This can leave you feeling inadequate and afraid to engage physically, emotionally, or socially.
The urge to merge…
While this can happen in heterosexual relationships, the urge to merge is much more prevalent in same-sex relationships. Both parties’ identities begin to blend into one another, leaving it unclear where one of you ends and the other begins. The lack of healthy boundaries tends to make this feel like neither of you can have an independent life, creating feelings of loneliness, disconnection, and feeling stuck and dependent on the other.
Stage discrepancies…
You’re out, but your partner is not. This can create tension as you try to balance respecting your partner’s feelings while also trying not to feel like a big secret. Perhaps you’re just coming into your own, and your partner or friends want to thrust you into Pride events and force you to wear rainbow colors. It can be difficult navigating your stages of acceptance and coming out as others try to either hurry you along or stifle your process.
Gender role issues…
“Who wears the pants in your relationship?” “So who’s the guy and who’s the girl?”
Probably two of the most annoying questions! Am I right?!? These are just examples of how deeply embedded gender roles are in our society. We can’t help but be influenced by this as a kid growing up, and sometimes we live according to these without even realizing it. We adopt a “male” or “female” role when they’re just made up.
This can be confusing, though, when trying to find a place for yourself in a relationship, especially if you were raised in a more traditional household. And if you’re struggling to understand their gender, these stereotypes only further increase confusion and shame.
The most effective way to combat shame, inadequacy, fear, loneliness, and anxiety is to cultivate a relationship with yourself.
Using mindfulness-based techniques, I will help you develop a healthy, accepting, and compassionate relationship with yourself.
From there, we will process past hurts, explore past and present issues, and reframe hurtful perspectives and self-limiting beliefs. You deserve to be free of the emotions, thoughts, and experiences holding you back from living your best, most authentic life.
I’ll help you learn to validate your experiences, gain confidence in how you choose to go about your life, and increase satisfaction in your relationships. We will evaluate your value systems and help you get to know yourself on a much more intimate level.
Romantic relationships will be addressed through the lens of getting to know one another, developing a friendship, and mutual respect and admiration for one another.
How you treat yourself ultimately comes out in how you treat others. The relationship you develop with yourself is your foundation for every other relationship in your life.
Stop running from yourself.
Stop othering the person inside you who is trying to come out. You deserve to live a life full of excitement, joy, peace, and confidence.
I offer a free consultation to answer any questions you may have and make sure we’re a good fit. The therapeutic relationship is the springboard for other relationships in your life, so we want to ensure that it will be an effective match.
Pick up the phone, give me a call: (561) 578-3058. Let’s introduce you to the incredible person hiding inside.